19 years and counting

Happy 19^th Birthday to me! Haha. Once I hit 16, birthdays really weren’t all that amazing anymore, except for the money that comes in the mail and who could forget the ice cream! :) It’s really just another day, the one that makes me a year older. Of course I do love using it as an excuse to not do chores and eat cookies for breakfast. And the cookies were amazing….but mom still made me do chores.  :(

    I decided this year that my birthday would be a ‘day of reflection’. And not where I stand in front of the mirror and wonder whatever happened to my cute little kid face and big brown eyes. Haha, but a day where I reflect on what has changed in the past 365 days and what the biggest thing that sticks out of the year I was 18.

Those 365 days being 18 had tons of “firsts’ for me. I think I’ll just make a list of some of them(because I’m sure I wont get them all)….

 First time:

Eating Tomato soup

Working 3 jobs

Going off jumps on a snowboard 

Getting prophesied over

Taking a road trip by myself

Going to Geneva College

Driving the turnpike

Playing the game Settlers

Touring Pittsburgh

Eating cheesecake from the cheesecake factory

Sharing parts of my testimony in front of more than 5 people

Being a counselor for Winter Retreat

Ripping my pants while doing a cartwheel

Off-roading

Midnight bowling

I played my guitar on a worship team

I danced in a church.

I had Mint Moose Tracks ice cream

I went to Penn State and the Creamery!

Creation Fest 2010!!!!

Time at 6Flags

Roller coaster ride

Time eating at Chick-Fil-A

Dumpster diving

Swing dancing

riding/driving a dirtbike

…..and there are more….

I also liked not having to ASK mom if I could spend the night or if friends could spend the night, I just sorta told her and went. And there's Steph and me who would hang out and come sneaking into the house at odd hours of the night and spend the night, just because we could. Gotta love my best friend. ♥

I'm glad I decided not to go to college right out of High School. It gave me the opportunity to grow alot in my relationship with Christ and go places and do things I wouldn't have been able to if I had college. It almost seems weird that one year ago I didn't know half the things I know now. I didn't even know my friend Winnie a year ago and she was/is such a blessing to my life!! I've become more bold about my faith, and less afraid to talk about it. I've pushed myself out of my comfort zone and continue to do so. I've realized I am making a bigger difference than I will ever know. I've lost my space bubble and love to give people hugs. I don't care so much what people think about me and am becoming more content with the weird person God made me. haha. :)

So much can change in 365 days! So what's next? How will I change in the next 365 days? What are God's plans for me?!?!?!

I leave you with this verse: "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and steams in the wasteland." -Isaiah 43:18,19

Goodbye summer 2010, Hello new adventures.

September 1. 2010.

Summer is over. Really? Already!? I think summer gets faster every single year. I'm telling ya!

2010 was a packed summer for me. I had 5 week of camp, dance 1 week, Creation Fest another and then there was weekend trips and spending time with friends and riding dirtbikes and swimming....phew...what a summer!

Yes, it was a fun summer, but fun isn't the first thing that comes to mind when I look back. Difficult is the first thing I see. This summer was different. I started the summer stressed with finishing up my video project and getting ready for camp, hoping and praying I was prepared for being a camp counseler for the entire summer, as well as keeping rested enough for the dance production. By the first week of camp, I was wiped out...and it was only the beginning! Camp was amazing this year! I got to see God use me and I'm still seeing the results of being open and available for Him to use. Two things stick out as I'm recalling summer camp 2010:

First, when we are weak and tired and completely worn out, if we just let God take over us and use us in our weakness-others will see His strength in us. Basically when we are weak, He is STRONG. Secondly the staff at camp this year really showed me how we as the body of Christ we need to constantly be building eachother up and encouraging eachother...even when it doesn't fit with our agenda for the day or we're just as tired as the person snoring next to us in staff devotions. I don't think I would have made it without them by my side. So just a quick piece of advice...you never know how much a smile or a hug or a short note of encouragement means to someone! 

This year was/is the first time I've made a point to do follow up with my campers. I've set a goal to write each one at least one letter through the year. I've also had the opportunity to see many of my campers and meet their families. Even the ones that live in Virginia! I never realized how much of an impact we can be, or how much campers look up to me. I was midnight bowling last Friday and there were 4 campers there with their youth group. They crowded around me and wouldn't stop telling me about their lives and school issues. They even wanted my advice on...get this...relationships! HAHA! Me..the girl who's never been in a relationship giving advice. God does have a sense of humor.  :)

 I guess what I'm seeing looking back is that God has given me gifts and He loves to use them. I don't have to be some well-schooled person or even someone famous. I just need to be available for God to use in everyday situations. We tend to get into the mindset that God will only use us if we're 'good enough'...as in educated, popular, etc...but in reality God uses anyone willing to be used. How many of Jesus' disciples were fishermen???? Yeah, get my point.  God doesn't care about your social status, where you grew up, who your parents are, God wants you! He wants to use you to do big things, by being just who he made you. You don't have to try to do great things for God, be content with the little things, because those little things could possibly change someone's life. 

I'm gonna sum this up by listing what I've learned:

1. BE AVAILABLE!

2. I AM good enough for God to use.

3. In my weakness God shows His strength.

4. Relationships do take alot of work(if I can get my thoughts straight on this one perhaps it'll be a post)

5. Never underestimate the impact you can make.

So God...what's next? What new adventures do you have for me this year? 

Reflections from my random mind.

I made sure to add the random part to the title just in case I went on rabbit trails.

First let me state that I LOVE roller coasters! I have conquered my fear of them. Watching them is much more scary than actually riding them! I'm still new on the loops and twists part, but I will go on them as much as possible from now on.

My trip to Virginia two weekends ago was such a great learning experience for me. I loved jumping into a family with 9 kids! It brought back memories of my childhood and I have to admit....yes I actually miss those long carrides where we did nothing but yell and fight with eachother! I can't wait to visit again!!

Being able to interact with a few campers from this summer was also great! Yeah, I get to see the campers from my area, and who I go to church with, but what about the campers I may never get to see again? What impact did I have on them? Well...we have a much bigger impact than we think, let me tell you. I NEVER EVER EVER thought that me just being myself, sharing my life, and being there to give someone a hug when they needed one could do such a big thing!

It made me realize that I DO IMPACT EVERYONE I AM AROUND.

But how am I impacting them? Is it bringing them closer to God? Are they seeing Jesus living in me, or are they seeing selfishness and pride, greed? What fruits am I producing? hmm? Just something I've been thinking about since my return to "normal life".

Summer fun and roller coasters fright!

Well now internet friends, I again have failed at updating this thing! April! I can't believe it's been so long! So much has happened in my life and this summer that I don't even think I'll have time to write about it! :(

Today is the first day of my 3 day vacation! What is my vacation you might ask? Tomorrrow I will be praying to survive the day as I go to SixFlags for the first time, AND ride roller coasters for the FIRST TIME! I'm staying with the lovely family of one of my summer campers, who have graciously opened their house and are taking me to SixFlags(for free i might add)! I am ready for the new experience of roller coaster riding. I hope to make it without barfing my lunch or getting sick. :)

This summer, although one of the greatest of my life, has also been one of the hardest and most challenging. I've learned alot, the most outstanding is that when I am weak, He IS strong. I would not have made it this summer without God's strength running through my body. And no, I didn't feel energized or even wanting to be energized; so many times i just wanted to forget life and for get my problems and sleep for hours, but I knew I had to keep going...and i did, by His strength. I wouldn't take these past 8 weeks back for anything. They have been great. I hope the lessons I've learned are engraved in my head as well as my heart.

As I enter back into the 'normal' way of my schedule(which is NEVER too normal), I'm wondering what these next few months will be like, where God's taking me next. I'm wondering what exactly His plans might be and whether or not I'm being stubborn about surrender or if I'm willing to let Him do the leading?

Gotta love being out of high school. :)

Well, I must go to bed now, we're getting up early to make baked oatmeal! YUMMM!

God Bless. ♥

Come by my side, hold me in Your arms
Love me
steal me away, dance with me,
Love me
Come my beloved, come find me.

Do you hear my laughter?
My delight in you?
I love you!
I am jealous for you!
Look, can you see my smile?
Do you see the sparkle of love that dances in my eyes when I look at you?
Come find me...
I have created fields of flowers and forests of trees,
Come, my lover, enjoy these presents
Enjoy my presence
Come find me...

I want you
I wait for you
Come find me!

I am being ripped apart.

It was my choice, but alas, I didn’t realize how deep it would go.

I told God to take away everything hindering me from being closer to him.

Well lets just say it’s been painful. Very painful.

Isaiah 6:1-8 has been a life passage lately.

¹ In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. ² Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. ³ And they were calling to one another:
"Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty;
the whole earth is full of his glory."

⁴ At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke.

⁵ "Woe to me!" I cried. "I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty."

⁶ Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. ⁷ With it he touched my mouth and said, "See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for."

⁸ Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?"
And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

This whole passage is certainly a favorite of mine. The picture he paints of the Throne Room of God is breathtaking to say the least. One day I will be there, singing right along with those creatures.

When Isaiah sees God’s glory and majesty he is wrecked. He was distraught! Undone. Get the idea? He realized just how unclean he was next to the awesomeness of God.

One of the seraphs flies over and touches his lips with a live coal. It wasn’t the nicest thing in the world – it was pain, burning, scorching, but cleansing and purifying. When the process is done Isaish readily replies to God’s call by saying “Here am I, send me!”

I am being refined. And it hurts.

God has pulled memories that I thought forgotten back into my mind to show me the roots of my fears.

I fear not being good enough. I fear failing God.

I’m still working through those.

God has stripped me down in the area of jobs, money, friends, relationships – anything and basically everything our culture tells us to grab a hold of and not let go.

God wants it.

He’s ripped out my ideas of religions tradition and showed me that he is the same God I read about in the Bible. He’s even been challenging me about my intentions for attending church.

I can say I AM living an Isaiah 6 lifestyle. I pray I’ll be able to answer the call with confidence.

It is Christmas time. People running crazy to pick up those last few gifts, the supermarkets packed with people getting everything from turkey to hot dogs for their Christmas dinners. The Salvation Army bells’ can be heard here and there. Every radio stations playing Christmas music nonstop. The greats like Bing Crosby’s ‘‘White Christmas’’ and Elvis’ “Blue Christmas” bellow from the stereo systems of countless vehicles. I smell the scent of pine as I pass by yet another person selling Christmas trees. Every house seems to have some sort of decoration to let the world know, it’s Christmas time.

My brothers, Jacob and Matthew are busily counting all the presents under our tree and arguing over what the odd shaped boxed might contain, and most defensively stating that they have the most presents. I watch with amusement from the couch while enjoying a mug of hot chocolate. I glance over to the fireplace and notice that there is an extra stocking hanging there. Thoughts race though my mind: “Are we having a surprise guest?” “Do I have another sibling I don’t know about?” “Maybe one of us has so many presents we get two stockings!” or “What if she decided Rascal, our dog, needs one?”

Puzzled I headed to the kitchen with my empty mug, where my mom was baking cookies. I knew she would have an answer. “Mom, why is there an extra stocking hung at the fireplace?” I asked. She put down her spoon and began, “That stocking is for Jesus.” I grabbed another cookie while she continued, “Every year we buy presents for our families, and friends, our co-workers and kids overseas. I wonder how many of those gifts are bought out of obligation. We give knowing that we’ll probably get a gift in return, or to ease our guilty conscious because we have so much while others are struggling to survive.
Baby Jesus was a gift to us, and the greatest gift of all time. He came, he grew up, experienced humanity, and then he died for us. He gave us much more than we can ever imagine, and he did it just because he loves us. He didn’t come because he felt obligated; he came because he cared for us. Jesus is a king. The wise men realized this and brought him gifts. He is still a king. Shouldn’t we be honoring him with gifts even now? What do you think He wants for Christmas? It is His birthday after all.”

I pondered that question the rest of the day. ‘What would Jesus like for Christmas?’ ‘What can I give him, just because I love him?’ As I crawled into bed, an idea popped into my head. I knew what to do!

“Wake up sleepyhead! It’s Christmas!” my brothers’ yelled as they jumped on my bed. “Come on! Lets open presents!!” Presents! I remembered what I was going to do. “Ok, ok I’ll be down in a minute,” I said as I hurried them out of my room. I had work to do and it had to be fast! I raced around, grabbing things from all over my room and headed downstairs.

All of the presents were opened, wrapping paper was all over the floor and the dog was loving it. The boys were playing with the new toys they got, while dad was trying to figure out how to work the DVD player so he could watch his new movie. I looked over at mom and asked “What did you put in Jesus’ stocking?” She smiled and said, “Why don’t you open it and see?” I went over, pulled it off the mantle and opened it. There was a dollar bill inside. “A dollar?” “Yes, Anne,” she said. “I’m giving Jesus all my money, and with it all the worry that comes when finances are tight. Now, how about you, what are you giving Jesus on his birthday?”

I pulled out a pair of sunglasses. “Jesus can have my eyes. He can be my sunglasses to shield my eyes from things that are not of him.” Next came a slipper. “Jesus can have my feet. I will go wherever he takes me.”
Eyeshadow: Jesus can have whatever I’ve tried to make myself, whatever I’ve tried to hide behind. He can create my ‘new look’.
A cd: Jesus can have my song. May it always be pleasing to him.
A picture I took: He can have my talents. My art. I want it all to be for him.
My journal: He can have my hopes and my dreams.

Mommy and daddy sat there with tears in their eyes. “Well, you sure have taught me a lesson today.” My dad said. “I think I need to be a little more giving with even the small parts of my life. Thank you for helping me realize that.”
I smiled at them both and pulled one last item out of the stocking, a paper heart. “I give Jesus my heart. And with it my life. Everything I am, my whole living being. I give to Jesus on his birthday. I think that’s what he wants most.”
My parents sat there, speechless, tears rolling down their cheeks. Then suddenly I was engulfed in arms full of hugs. I heard my mommy whisper “I think you’re right, that’s what he wants most.”





What can you give Jesus this Christmas?


Merry Christmas Everyone!

12 Days of Christmas - the meaning behind the song.

The 12 Days of Christmas -- The Rest of the Story

When most people hear of "The 12 Days of Christmas", they think of the song. This song had its origins as a teaching tool to instruct young people in the meaning and content of the Christian faith.

Each of the items in the song represents something of religious significance. The hidden meaning of each gift was designed to help young Christians learn their faith. The song goes, "On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me..."

The "true love" represents God and the "me" who receives these presents is the Christian. Here you go:

The "partridge in a pear tree" was Jesus Christ who died on a tree as a gift from God.

The "two turtle doves" were the Old and New Testaments - another gift from God.

The "three French hens" were faith, hope and love - the three gifts of the Spirit that abide (I Corinthians 13).

The "four calling birds" were the four Gospels which sing the song of salvation through Jesus Christ.

The "five golden rings" were the first five books of the Bible also called the "Books of Moses".

The "six geese a-laying" were the six days of creation.

The "seven swans a swimming" were the "seven gifts of the Holy Spirit". (I Corinthians 12:8-11; Romans 12, Ephesians 4; I Peter 4:10-11).

The "eight maids a milking" were the eight beatitudes.

The "nine ladies dancing" were nine fruits of the Holy Spirit. (Galatians 5:22 & 23)

The "ten lords a-leaping" were the Ten Commandments.

The "eleven pipers piping" were the eleven faithful disciples.

The "twelve drummers drumming" were the twelve points of the Apostles' Creed.

So, the next time you hear "The 12 Days of Christmas", consider how this otherwise non-religious sounding song had its origins in the Christian faith.

Conversations

Here I sit, silent, thoughtful. Wondering what to do, where to go? Wondering why things haven’t turned out anywhere close to what I thought and the way I dreamed them.

As I sit in this sanctuary, I hear a voice: “What is troubling you my child?” It is my Father coming to join me. “Oh nothing, Father.” I replied, “I was just thinking.”

“Thinking about what?”

“Thinking about life and how things change. About where I am and where I was and where I want to be…Wondering why everything turned out to be so different than I thought it was going to be. Wondering why the things I had planned for my life never turned out?”

“Wow, you think a lot little one.” My father replied. “But don’t you know by now that My thoughts are not your thoughts and My ways are not your ways?”

“But Father!” I cried, “Why don’t you show me these things? Why make me go through the heartache, the emptiness, the brokenness? Won’t you show me my purpose?”

He chuckled and replied, “Child, wait. Slow down. Learn to rest in me. Learn to walk by my side – in my shadow. Don’t try to take on the world by yourself. Just be available to do the tasks I place before you. You perceive them as small and meaningless, but do them with me and they will turn into things bigger than you imagined. That, my child, is your purpose.”

I got up to leave, still uncertain of my path. With my hand in my Father’s, and my face turned to his. I know I’ll be OK, because He is with me everyday.

Summer Happenings

Life sure does fly. And with the entrance of the month of June 2009 to my family’s life, we seemed to be running at 100 mph. Little League season was in full swing, my graduation party and ceremony plans were in the making and the dance year was coming to an end which means recital time.

Where should I start? So much has happened, and so much has changed. My life has come to a milestone.

I guess I’ll start with dance.

Rehearsal and recital week happened to be the same week as Staff Orientation for Cove Valley Camp where I was a Sr. Counselor the week of July 5-10. I knew that I needed to keep myself rested, which I also knew would be hard due to the fact I was at camp. Actually it wasn’t that hard, I just paced myself and let everyone know I had dance so I wasn’t allowed to swim or run too much. Rehearsals went very well and actually by dress rehearsal night on Thursday, I wasn’t too worried or nervous about being on stage… Praise God! Debbie has a beautiful voice and we did very well as a team if I do say so myself.

June 19^th. The first night. The butterflies were screaming and flying through my stomach. Could it really be here already? I wasn’t sure what to think or how I would perform. Debbie and I spent the time right before my solo to pray that God would take us and move us. We did really well! I was so glad when it was over though, but actually I wasn’t nervous. I loved doing my solo, maybe even more than the Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy tap routine. Maybe because ‘Who am I’ was my own moment of worshiping God on stage. I got so many complements afterward, but I was so exhausted I could only say Thank You. I got home and went straight to sleep and slept through till lunch time Saturday when I basically got up, showered and left for JBHS again. I think I was more nervous Saturday that Friday, mainly because I knew my family and friends were all coming! The time came for my solo and both Debbie and I did an amazing job! God sure listens to prayer and I give him ALL THE GLORY for helping and enabling me to dance my heart out for him!

June 27 was the BIG day. GRADUATION day!! YAY! Yes, I can finally say I have made it through High School. I have so many memories from these past 4 years. Some good, some bad. I have many regrets and many times I wish i would have done something or said something else. There were times I wish I would have said "I love you" instead of staring and walking away and times I wish I would have just walked away. But all in all, it has been a learning experience. My biggest accomplishment, I think is that I can proudly say I have made it through High School without having one single boyfriend or been on one single date. How many teenagers can say that? I thank God, he has blessed me with the determination to achieve such. Now what? I'm taking a year off..going to find a job and save money. I do want to go to college, but haven't decided on the details though. I sorta feel as of late called to a college out in California, but God's will before mine. There is a lot of prayer that will need to be said before I decide on whether its where God wants me.

Last week was my week as a Sr. Counselor at Cove Valley Camp. I loved every single minute of it! My cabin of girls was the best there and the perfect girls for me. Again Thanks God! :) We were hilarious! I made alot of friends and learned many lessons too, like I need to keep myself more saturated in God's word to help my girls have a better understanding of it. I'm also learning about faithful prayer and God is using one of my friends as a object lesson. I love all the Staff up there this year and I can see how God brought us all together for a purpose. I can't wait to see all the things God has done in our lives over the summer.

So I just wanted to send you all an update. My internet is being really crappy or else I'd stick pictures up. I'm heading to Kentucky next week on a SWAP trip with my youth group. Once again...i'm excited to see how God uses us. I will try to give highlights of the week when I get back.